TLV Inbox

[goddammitdonut]

Uh, this is Carl, I can't come to the, uh, the magic space phone right now? The fuck...

Comments

[goddammitdonut]

I have... so many questions.

[queen_anne_chonk]

WE NEED IT IN A VAT IN A SPECIFIC ROOM. YOU WERE IN THE NAVY, RIGHT? “Can do!” ATTITUDE??

[goddammitdonut]

I was not in the navy.

[queen_anne_chonk]

FINE THE MARINES.

JELLO? PLEASE! ITS AN EMERGENCY.

[goddammitdonut]

Why me? There's a kitchen.

[queen_anne_chonk]

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. PLEASE CARL THIS IS IMPORTANT.

[goddammitdonut]

I don't even know what the most jello I could make would be. Don't you make, like, a cup?

[queen_anne_chonk]

I NEED ENOUGH FOR A GROWN MAN TO FALL INTO FROM EIGHT FEET AND NOT GET HURT.

[goddammitdonut]

I don't think I can make that much jello.

[queen_anne_chonk]

WHAT.

[goddammitdonut]

I don't know how much force jello absorbs but probably not a lot. Even if it safely stops your stuntman completely, you're talking... kiddie pool to coffin?

[queen_anne_chonk]

OKAY. FINE.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR A PRANK
WHERE I OPEN A HOLE FOR AN UNSUSPECTING HUMAN?

[goddammitdonut]

...Open the hole above them, drop something harmless, possibly jello.

[queen_anne_chonk]

OKAY.

[goddammitdonut]

Could you put glitter in jello?

[queen_anne_chonk]

GOOD IDEA.

[goddammitdonut]

I will try to make you an amount of jello appropriate.

[queen_anne_chonk]

THANKS CARL.

[goddammitdonut]

Let me know how that goes. I bet I could find something explosive with the same consistency as jello...

[queen_anne_chonk]

WE ARE ON A WOODEN BOAT. NO EXPLOSIVES.

[goddammitdonut]

For. You know. Future reference.

[queen_anne_chonk]

ARE THESE LIKE YOUR STICKY BOMBS?

[goddammitdonut]

I was thinking something else but maybe.

[queen_anne_chonk]

OKAY.

JUST WARN ME BEFORE YOU SET THEM OFF PLEASE.